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Afraid of women, help me guys and girls


polaczek

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Um guys question.  I deleted a comment I...apparently placed here but there's only one problem;

 

I REALLY don't remember posting on this thread 0.o

 

Didn't get a chance to read it, not sure what it was all about.  I'm judging from the OP he needed advice on women.  About the only advice I can say is be yourself but I'm the last person to offer advice; I've been abstinent going on 14 years.

 

Was somebody else using my account to post something?

What the fuck did they say?

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Um guys question.  I deleted a comment I...apparently placed here but there's only one problem;

 

I REALLY don't remember posting on this thread 0.o

 

Didn't get a chance to read it, not sure what it was all about.  I'm judging from the OP he needed advice on women.  About the only advice I can say is be yourself but I'm the last person to offer advice; I've been abstinent going on 14 years.

 

Was somebody else using my account to post something?

What the fuck did they say?

 

I find that rather odd that someone other than who owned the account would say that much. You can go to the front page, scroll down below my post and someone has that post quoted. Maybe if you live with family... ? Someone at home might have had something to say. Who knows.

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Um guys question.  I deleted a comment I...apparently placed here but there's only one problem;

 

I REALLY don't remember posting on this thread 0.o

 

Didn't get a chance to read it, not sure what it was all about.  I'm judging from the OP he needed advice on women.  About the only advice I can say is be yourself but I'm the last person to offer advice; I've been abstinent going on 14 years.

 

Was somebody else using my account to post something?

What the fuck did they say?

 

I find that rather odd that someone other than who owned the account would say that much. You can go to the front page, scroll down below my post and someone has that post quoted. Maybe if you live with family... ? Someone at home might have had something to say. Who knows.

 

I...did let my brother-in-law try Loadout the other day.  He was at it for most of the day, I was out grocery shopping.  Maybe he was browsing and found this site?  He...does have a tendency to act like he's God's gift to women >.<.  Ah shit...I'm sorry for whatever he wrote guys.

 

Pardon me I need to take out the trash =_=

 

EDIT:  Just read the crossed out section.  Yeah that sounds like something he would say.  Alpha Male bullshit?  I thought this was 2015 not 1815 >.<.  Asshole is gonna get a sit down later.  Just because its the holidays doesn't give you the right to fuck up one of my favorite haunts.  Again I'm sorry guys that wasn't me.  I usually stay logged in on my personal computer, now I'm having second thoughts when I have family come over.

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I've not read it all yet, but what I can add is that I often hear of guys who go to train a real lot, or work purely on getting a well paying job to be "the man", sometimes taking on a tough or hard-ass attitude against the person they used to be. In my opinion, when a guy tries to change who they are just to impress a girl, they are only affirming their insecurities further. Then when they still get refused, they now blaim that girl, because they are convinced that they have become a much better man themselves, sometimes turning violent or bothersome to that girl.

 

The underlying problem is that of a lack self confidence and likely that of having a crooked view on what girls like in a man. It can also mean that the guy has gotten himself the wrong attitude towards being single, causing him to feel a huge need to have that girl which he likes and only chasing her away because he wants to eventually marry her, live with her and so on. She on the other hand may like that guy, wanting to see step for step how far it can get, but feels threatened or uncomfortable if that guy cannot control his eagerness to be a couple, because he rushes it.

 

Just adopting a different approach to girls isn't done overnight and often therapy or a coach can help a huge deal. Other guys might benefit from a one-time get together with a call girl, especially if they're a virgin who fantasizes about their first sexual time. If he gets that out of his system he might be able to look at dating a lot more level headed. Having a coach or meeting a call girl is not something wrong and is nothing to feel ashamed about. Those are not measures because you cannot get a girl, those are measures to find yourself again and then to meet a girl.

 

What you should ask yourself is not why you wouldn't be good enough. Ask yourself if your image of what being good enough means is right at all. And keep in mind that if you're not 25 or up yet, most girls of your age often do not yet see the qualities of another guy and simply fall for the stereotype shallow hunk. They'll eventually break up and realize they want a guy who is his own person. People under 25 will not understand this, they will also not believe me, thinking they matured. I can only say when you pass the 25-26 years of age, you get this feeling of revelation as if you become an adult a second time. They'll see. :-)

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I've not read it all yet, but what I can add is that I often hear of guys who go to train a real lot, or work purely on getting a well paying job to be "the man", sometimes taking on a tough or hard-ass attitude against the person they used to be. In my opinion, when a guy tries to change who they are just to impress a girl, they are only affirming their insecurities further. Then when they still get refused, they now blaim that girl, because they are convinced that they have become a much better man themselves, sometimes turning violent or bothersome to that girl.

 

The underlying problem is that of a lack self confidence and likely that of having a crooked view on what girls like in a man. It can also mean that the guy has gotten himself the wrong attitude towards being single, causing him to feel a huge need to have that girl which he likes and only chasing her away because he wants to eventually marry her, live with her and so on. She on the other hand may like that guy, wanting to see step for step how far it can get, but feels threatened or uncomfortable if that guy cannot control his eagerness to be a couple, because he rushes it.

 

Just adopting a different approach to girls isn't done overnight and often therapy or a coach can help a huge deal. Other guys might benefit from a one-time get together with a call girl, especially if they're a virgin who fantasizes about their first sexual time. If he gets that out of his system he might be able to look at dating a lot more level headed. Having a coach or meeting a call girl is not something wrong and is nothing to feel ashamed about. Those are not measures because you cannot get a girl, those are measures to find yourself again and then to meet a girl.

 

What you should ask yourself is not why you wouldn't be good enough. Ask yourself if your image of what being good enough means is right at all. And keep in mind that if you're not 25 or up yet, most girls of your age often do not yet see the qualities of another guy and simply fall for the stereotype shallow hunk. They'll eventually break up and realize they want a guy who is his own person. People under 25 will not understand this, they will also not believe me, thinking they matured. I can only say when you pass the 25-26 years of age, you get this feeling of revelation as if you become an adult a second time. They'll see. :-)

 

After getting a bloody nose for so many times, I decided that women prefer the alpha male type. I tried to be that. But it didn't fit me, I didn't like to pretend to be someone I am not.

So instead of going "alpha male", I decided to stay the stupid romantic nerd in the background.

Didn't help me with girls/women, though. The ones I liked always went for the guys that cheated or beat them.

(Not looking like Brat Pitt didn't help either :P )

 

Conclusion: I still can look in the mirror and see myself. Not that I like what I see, because it is a lonely romantic fool. But at least it is me, a cuddley, romantic guy and always the "good friend". Who cuddles with his pillow.... alone.... in the dark.... being bitter....

But I do not blame the women I met. I blame myself for my insecurity, romantic views and being kind of a blob with a job that is safe but doesn't pay well. I am not an alpha....

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Everybody knows that females are the spawns of Satan, and all they care about is glitter, gold and its equivalents.

Possible your soul as well, to feed their addictions.

 

However, there is a way to break the bond they have with the dark lord, and that is called showing confidence. It might not be true for all of them, but the majority.

Some of em like to be treated like a sack of dead meat, while others like to be treated equally. So yeah, finding a partner, is like life itself, a roller coaster.

 

Just be yourself, but don't be afraid, when in need, to show confidence. When someone shows great confidence, to a potentially love interest,

all primal cells in the body tells this very person, "wow, this one seems strong, and capable. My future offspring have a good chance of surviving"

 

Don't lose hope if you get 100 rejections. Just like other animals, you don't necessary score anything, until you find match that is right for you.

 

As a final thing I want to tell a true story.

 

Around 2004, a few friends and me decided to go to the local club to have a few beers and just have great time.

We were joking and teasing one of the guys, and then one of us said "I bet you don't dare to go and talk to that girl over there"

Mind you, this guy are very shy in nature, and has never had a girlfriend ever. We knew this, so thats why we were teasing him to chance that.

 

At first he didn't want too, but we keep pushing him, so he just said "Fuck it, I'm gonna do it"

And so he did. he walked towards this lady and then started to talk to this lady, and guess what? It worked.

Don't think it was the beer that did the talking, because that night he was our Taxi driver.

 

Today they are still together.

 

So, one day, you will find someone. But it does require some efforts.

 

 

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*snippy*

 

Nah, I have come to realize that, at my age and with my looks, that ship has sailed a long time ago.

But at least, I only blame myself ;)

 

 

Why do you blame yourself for your age and looks? Those two things are a very natural processes, and in case you missed it, everybody goes through them ;) Or do you mean you postponed the process of hitting on others until you realized it was to late? Well, let me tell you, It's never too late!

Me on the other hand is always to early :lol:

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I've not read it all yet, but what I can add is that I often hear of guys who go to train a real lot, or work purely on getting a well paying job to be "the man", sometimes taking on a tough or hard-ass attitude against the person they used to be. In my opinion, when a guy tries to change who they are just to impress a girl, they are only affirming their insecurities further. Then when they still get refused, they now blaim that girl, because they are convinced that they have become a much better man themselves, sometimes turning violent or bothersome to that girl.

 

The underlying problem is that of a lack self confidence and likely that of having a crooked view on what girls like in a man. It can also mean that the guy has gotten himself the wrong attitude towards being single, causing him to feel a huge need to have that girl which he likes and only chasing her away because he wants to eventually marry her, live with her and so on. She on the other hand may like that guy, wanting to see step for step how far it can get, but feels threatened or uncomfortable if that guy cannot control his eagerness to be a couple, because he rushes it.

 

Just adopting a different approach to girls isn't done overnight and often therapy or a coach can help a huge deal. Other guys might benefit from a one-time get together with a call girl, especially if they're a virgin who fantasizes about their first sexual time. If he gets that out of his system he might be able to look at dating a lot more level headed. Having a coach or meeting a call girl is not something wrong and is nothing to feel ashamed about. Those are not measures because you cannot get a girl, those are measures to find yourself again and then to meet a girl.

 

What you should ask yourself is not why you wouldn't be good enough. Ask yourself if your image of what being good enough means is right at all. And keep in mind that if you're not 25 or up yet, most girls of your age often do not yet see the qualities of another guy and simply fall for the stereotype shallow hunk. They'll eventually break up and realize they want a guy who is his own person. People under 25 will not understand this, they will also not believe me, thinking they matured. I can only say when you pass the 25-26 years of age, you get this feeling of revelation as if you become an adult a second time. They'll see. :-)

 

After getting a bloody nose for so many times, I decided that women prefer the alpha male type. I tried to be that. But it didn't fit me, I didn't like to pretend to be someone I am not.

So instead of going "alpha male", I decided to stay the stupid romantic nerd in the background.

Didn't help me with girls/women, though. The ones I liked always went for the guys that cheated or beat them.

(Not looking like Brat Pitt didn't help either :P )

 

Conclusion: I still can look in the mirror and see myself. Not that I like what I see, because it is a lonely romantic fool. But at least it is me, a cuddley, romantic guy and always the "good friend". Who cuddles with his pillow.... alone.... in the dark.... being bitter....

But I do not blame the women I met. I blame myself for my insecurity, romantic views and being kind of a blob with a job that is safe but doesn't pay well. I am not an alpha....

 

 

Or you've been looking in the wrong places?

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Why do you blame yourself for your age and looks? Those two things are a very natural processes, and in case you missed it, everybody goes through them ;) Or do you mean you postponed the process of hitting on others until you realized it was to late? Well, let me tell you, It's never too late!

Me on the other hand is always to early :lol:

 

 

Hmm, maybe I can't blame myself for the age, but for the looks ;)

If it wasn't such a fight already to get up in the morning I might have done something about it when it still mattered. Now my exercise is not much more than scratching my butt and my scrotum after getting up and before I go to bed.....

 

I always was too shy to "hit on others", when I was younger. The few times I tried, I got shot down as quickly as a StuKa over England in October of 1940 :lol:

 

Afterwards, I withdrew from trying romance for some years. When I realized that I didn't want to stay alone for the rest of my life, it was too late already.

To keep it metaphorical: I saw the sails of the ship disappear on the horizon.

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-Snip

 

 

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I don't think it's never to late. My last gf I had was... You know what? I can't even remember.

12-15 years ago maybe. After that I have never really bothered to try find someone new.

 

There are moments when I feel that I really want to meet someone, that can bring joy and support me in life.

But I also know, I will never find anyone as long as I sit at home at the front of the monitor.

 

One night stands has worked so far. Something I have never aggressively pursued though. They have happens when they have happen.

But the older I get, the less attractive one night stands gets as well. Now these days I can't see myself having them anymore.

And I'm only 34.

 

So, sitting alone at home, wont help at all. The trick is to go to this place called "outside" (you know the room with the very high ceiling) and simply start socializing with other beings. As long as you know this, you have a very good success rate of finding someone.

Sure, you might also find someone online, be it on a dating site or in a game, but on the other hand, this is like Russian roulette.

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Well, I can only speak for myself, but I don't think it's never to late. My last gf I had was... You know what? I can't even remember.

12-15 years ago maybe. After that I have never really bothered to try find someone.

 

There are moments when I feel that I really want to meet someone, that can bring joy and support me in life.

But I also know, I will never find anyone as long as I sit at home at the front of the monitor.

 

One night stands has worked so far. Something I have never aggressively pursued though. They have happens when they have happen.

But the older I get, the less attractive one night stands gets as well. Now these days I can't see myself having them anymore.

And I'm only 34.

 

So, sitting alone at home, wont help at all. The trick is to go to this place called "outside" (you know the room with the very high ceiling) and simply start socializing with other beings. As long as you know this, you have a very good success rate of finding someone.

Sure, you might also find someone online, be it on a dating site or in a game, but on the other hand, this is like Russian roulette.

 

 

Ha, 34..... if I only could turn back time :D

 

I went outside once.... the graphics were great, but the game play sucked.....

And sitting in a cocktail bar, sipping my drink and moping.... doesn't seem too attractive....

I don't have many friends I could go out with. And going out alone? Yikes, I think I prefer my couch, thank you :lol:

 

And Russian roulette? It would be for me either way, online or "outside". And it would be with an automatic pistol... and I would have to go first :s

 

I think I'll make the best of the two things I am good at: Drinking and self-pitying. Too bad both aren't attractive to women :lol:

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Ha, 34..... if I only could turn back time :D

 

I went outside once.... the graphics were great, but the game play sucked.....

And sitting in a cocktail bar, sipping my drink and moping.... doesn't seem too attractive....

I don't have many friends I could go out with. And going out alone? Yikes, I think I prefer my couch, thank you :lol:

 

And Russian roulette? It would be for me either way, online or "outside". And it would be with an automatic pistol... and I would have to go first :s

 

I think I'll make the best of the two things I am good at: Drinking and self-pitying. Too bad both aren't attractive to women :lol:

 

 

Jah, reality is the like worst game ever. If you happen to run around kill stuff, rape stuff, crash stuff, use cheat and just minding your own businesses,

other npcs tends to get mad as fuck. Also, broken spawns points. One time I spawned from my mothers vagina.

I mean, how broken isn't that?

 

-

 

Well, maybe going out to a cocktail bar or similar might not be for you. I'm not huge fan of it myself either, due to the type of music that is played.

Not to mention the volume. There are few alright ones, who at least plays random music. Something for everybody, and that I think it's great.

 

But, to change your life, that is something you must do yourself. You might get help along the way, but only you can take the steps.

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Be yourself, but realize that being the yourself you are now is going to get you nowhere.  You have to change, at least in some ways, for example those of us who spend far to much time with computers at the expense of real honest to goodness socialization.

 

You've got to have something to offer.  Being financially independent as well as physically independent (no longer living with one's family) is huge, at least in this country.

 

It also helps to have goals.  Always, something to strive for, work toward.  Don't get stuck in a rut.  When things get stale, move on, that being for life in general.

 

Do what I say, not what I do... :lol:

 

Finally, I think it's worth considering words that are wayyyy overused.  "Love" is one of those words in my book.  To say "Oh, I've fallen in love!" for the 27th time... yeah, not very likely.  To my way of thinking, love can be learned over time, but it's highly unlikely to get that head over heals "it doesn't matter what happens, I'll always love you, and who cares what anyone else thinks" love happens more than twice in a lifetime.

 

It's entirely possible to have loved, but not been "in love".  Huge difference.

 

Yes, I'm one of those guys who'll say "Gee she's cute" and walk on by.

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Okay that's taken care of; cornered my block head of a brother-in-law and told him to stop posting crap IN MY FUCKING NAME  :angry:.  Again I apologize.  Now...I guess I should say something to curb away this bad taste in my mouth.

 

Um...honestly I stick with what i said before; I'm the last person to ask advice on women.  If anything I would take what I know from my mother and my sister; girls like a man that listens carefully.  Don't just ignore them or get bored just listen.  Don't try and act like a bigshot.  Be confident but don't act like you're God's gift to mankind unlike SOME degenerates I know  :-/.

 

That's about it actually because really I'm not the kind of person to ask advice on this.  Matter fact I could use advice myself.  You know that song by Leann Rimes, "Because of You."  That song reminds me of myself because I tend to play on the safe side a lot.  I've been hurt so many damn times it's gotten to the point where I think I'm just better off being alone  :(

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Be yourself, but realize that being the yourself you are now is going to get you nowhere.  You have to change, at least in some ways, for example those of us who spend far to much time with computers at the expense of real honest to goodness socialization.

 

You've got to have something to offer.  Being financially independent as well as physically independent (no longer living with one's family) is huge, at least in this country.

 

It also helps to have goals.  Always, something to strive for, work toward.  Don't get stuck in a rut.  When things get stale, move on, that being for life in general.

 

Do what I say, not what I do... :lol:

 

Finally, I think it's worth considering words that are wayyyy overused.  "Love" is one of those words in my book.  To say "Oh, I've fallen in love!" for the 27th time... yeah, not very likely.  To my way of thinking, love can be learned over time, but it's highly unlikely to get that head over heals "it doesn't matter what happens, I'll always love you, and who cares what anyone else thinks" love happens more than twice in a lifetime.

 

It's entirely possible to have loved, but not been "in love".  Huge difference.

 

Yes, I'm one of those guys who'll say "Gee she's cute" and walk on by.

 

So.... the advice is: Be yourself, but don't be yourself? :unsure:

I am the sum of my experiences in life.

 

And who says I spend too much time with computers? *click refresh* *click refresh* *click refresh*

I spend as much time sleeping or in front of the TV! :P

And a goal? I have a goal. It is in here somewhere, gimme a sec.....

 

Ah, here it is.... Seeing my godchildren grow up before I croak. They are the closest to an "own" family I have. At least I want to see what becomes of them. And maybe I will have annoyed them enough in the meantime as the bitter and grumpy old man that they won't miss me.

 

Regarding love:

The next one who throws 

 

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

at me will get a punch in the throat... In.... The...THROAT!!

 

Done :)

 

*click refresh* *click refresh* *click refresh*

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