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Guest endgameaddiction

Guest endgameaddiction

Posted
Posted

@LordJerle

 

Why is that? I'm curious to know your reasons. If you don't mind sharing them.

 

It's been 9 years here. I gave up on commitment and promised myself I'd never be committed again. A year after, I had a fuck friend. I felt bad. She really liked me. I felt nothing more for her than just friends.. She stopped talking to me and went her way. If I could see her again, I'd tell her sorry.

 

Since then I just haven't been with a chick. I talked to a few here and there, but that's it. I've had some serious issues in my young life. Depression, anxiety, stress You name it. And even though it's been so long, I told myself I wouldn't be in a relationship again. Not with these problems. I am not a selfish person. I could not put a girl through my bullshit. I would rather deal with it alone and be unhappy than put a girl through misery and be happy.

 

Would I give myself a chance again? Sure, why not. I'm sure you know as well as I know, that loneliness gets to you. And yes, eventually it got to me to a point where I wanted to break that promise. But I haven't found that person to connect with. Actually I lie. There was this one chick I talked to on a MMO who I still have feelings for. We had a great connection. Great chemistry. Very much a like in so many ways, yet still so mysterious. I cut her off, though. She never wanted to take it to the next level (talk over the phone). She was too afraid. I can't completely blame her. I have the tendency to push someone I care about away if they get too close. Too many scars. It's made me stronger, yet weaker at the same time. I'm really stubborn. And I tend to become an ass online. I guess it's because I want to see how much I'm really worth to them. See how much shit they are willing take or if it's too much to handle. I left the MMO for personal reasons. It's been almost a year. She was the only girl to know who I really was. Accepted me for who I am.

 

Now, I hope that she really finds someone that values her for who she really is. I think she really deserves to be happy.

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LordJerle

LordJerle

Posted
Posted

@LordJerle

 

Why is that? I'm curious to know your reasons. If you don't mind sharing them.

 

It's been 9 years here. I gave up on commitment and promised myself I'd never be committed again. A year after, I had a fuck friend. I felt bad. She really liked me. I felt nothing more for her than just friends.. She stopped talking to me and went her way. If I could see her again, I'd tell her sorry.

 

Since then I just haven't been with a chick. I talked to a few here and there, but that's it. I've had some serious issues in my young life. Depression, anxiety, stress You name it. And even though it's been so long, I told myself I wouldn't be in a relationship again. Not with these problems. I am not a selfish person. I could not put a girl through my bullshit. I would rather deal with it alone and be unhappy than put a girl through misery and be happy.

 

Would I give myself a chance again? Sure, why not. I'm sure you know as well as I know, that loneliness gets to you. And yes, eventually it got to me to a point where I wanted to break that promise. But I haven't found that person to connect with. Actually I lie. There was this one chick I talked to on a MMO who I still have feelings for. We had a great connection. Great chemistry. Very much a like in so many ways, yet still so mysterious. I cut her off, though. She never wanted to take it to the next level (talk over the phone). She was too afraid. I can't completely blame her. I have the tendency to push someone I care about away if they get too close. Too many scars. It's made me stronger, yet weaker at the same time. I'm really stubborn. And I tend to become an ass online. I guess it's because I want to see how much I'm really worth to them. See how much shit they are willing take or if it's too much to handle. I left the MMO for personal reasons. It's been almost a year. She was the only girl to know who I really was. Accepted me for who I am.

 

Now, I hope that she really finds someone that values her for who she really is. I think she really deserves to be happy.

 

It's not something I'm usually in the mood to talk about, or even think about, although I don't always get what I want on the latter aspect.

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Guest airdance

Guest airdance

Posted
Posted

It's not something I'm usually in the mood to talk about,

It is very possible to become addicted to certain kinds of sadness and misery.

 You can feel sad, or be sorrowful but still have hope. If you have despair, you do not have (or do not think that you have) hope.

 

I would rather deal with it alone and be unhappy than put a girl through misery and be happy.

Unhappy is an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, and helplessness. When sad, people often become quiet, less energetic, and withdrawn. The synonyms of sadness are sorrow, grief, misery, and melancholy.

Most women, are fairly intelligent, and will not stay in a relationship unless they are happy too. Do not feel that you are protecting others with your self imposed exile.

 

Sadness is a transient feeling that passes as a person comes to terms with their troubles. Depression can linger for weeks, months or even years. The sad person feels bad, but continues to cope with living. A person with clinical depression may feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

 

So the question is are you suffering from depression?.

 

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Guest airdance

Guest airdance

Posted
Posted

there is an anger that scares the shit out of me.

The fact that this scares you is a good thing, it means you have turned away from the darkness.  Anger is part of the grieving process. 

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Guest endgameaddiction

Guest endgameaddiction

Posted
Posted

@LordJerle

 

 

That's fine. I used to keep things inside. Felt like people would think I'm some freak. it doesn't bother me to talk about it now. Not in front of others at least. I know we all have issues.

 

 

@airdance

 

Right now? No. I'm a stronger person now. :) I mean occasionally it may come from time to time, but it's not like before.

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